Thursday, November 28, 2013

Embracing ...

Sometimes words just need to come out in a non logical manner for things to start making sense, or just exacerbate the difficulties till the point of ridiculousness, so that detachment isn’t too far ahead… detachment is a good way of dealing with issues, as much as we want to avoid it, sometimes…

It can’t always be as real as it feels, or as bad as it feels, but it is always concrete…

I have a strange way of dealing with issues, and at my age, it is not a good thing to be hanging by threads… even if I have understood the pattern…

Here is one…




Conundrum :

So there is was,
Lost in a hazardous pattern
Apparently going nowhere.
Sanity was beckoning
‘Make it happen, leave it there…’
Between two screeching synth lines
Vapors and scents intoxicating other senses
Between various thumbing beats
I chose one rhythm, and wondered
How long till I grow a hard shell
How long till my inner wind faces
The unequivocal truth I keep avoiding.
So here I am
And here is my challenge,
I disappoint me!
I am the ‘no’ and the ‘why not’…
I am the comical ‘could have’.
Here is my conundrum
Plain simple yet achingly familiar,
In its shattering irrelevance.
It might be pointless
But it will never be meaningless…

I want to beat that and breathe another…


Saturday, April 27, 2013

Alter egos and shit...





















This is weird...
I am asked to play someone who is me but is not me... Inspired by me... Another version of me...
It's weird...
So i imagined if this was an evil version of me and that version was seeking revenge...
Needless to say that version will not make it to the play... Am burying him... Or burning him...



Go to the fire

Go to the fire, he said
As sounds of laughter
Were drowning the rest of the hall

Go to the fire and wait
Put your red nose
It will soon turn black

Go, play, like you mean it
Make sure everybody forgets who you were
Even your mother,
She won't want her old kid back, no...

Go to the fire, he said
Stand in the middle of it
And wait, wait for it to exhume
All the scents you will reek
All the dreads rotting your insides
A final sublimation you desperately need...

I'm in the fire, i said
I'm in the fire...
Now burn!


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

all this talk about new year's resolutions...





a few days ago i attended a Youmna Saba performance at Radio Beirut in Gemayzeh.
like what usually happens to me when the music is great, i got transported within and for a few minutes there was just Youmna's warm voice (though i wasn't paying attention to the lyrics anymore), Fadi's excellent guitar playing/effects and the percussionist's rythms guiding me...
a few days later i was able to continue what i wrote there and then...
raw and not much edited as usual...


Then Again:


Prowling old scenes with stuttering memories and lights
Heart pounding, racing at the mercy of an intuition

Pressure, provocative in a stream of disapproval

Have I seen how it has seeped out?

Then again,

Here is what I have pictured when
Plain pleasures pressed for recognition…

oh How pale the inspiration,
oh How pale the

approbation...?

then again,

I have been here…
I have been near;
I have felt the need to let it all seed…

Pain has caused a commotion
Withering a healthy hereafter
Away… Away
,
With sighs fluttering in the void
Like unheard whispers,
Like lukewarm resolutions

May they last until the wind changes direction…

Oh how pale the attention,
Scattered here and here… and here…

There are new pursuits to be submitted

There are different pleasures to unearth…

And pressure should let go…

For I have prepared new beginnings…

I will have new paths…

I will.