is my writer's block finally over?!

or do i just need a muse?
whatever it is, here's to hoping there will be more soon...

Raw:

Raw

Raw as my lust might be

I offer you consent

With a nod or a smile or a careless shudder

Raw

Raw as my lust might be

I’ll keep my distance

If I can’t act freely

Raw

Raw as my lust might be

Don’t growl, don’t scoff

Look away, slowly

Raw

Raw as my lust might be

I’ll take off your smell, off my hands

And I’ll laugh, sadly, madly, whatever…

And

Raw

Raw as my lust may be

I’ll avoid your eyes

I’ll avoid your voice

I’ll avoid your presence

Even in my imaginings…

take me out of here...

this will require some correcting and editing later on... but this is how i feel right now...

God bless the innocent...


No More:

It's a whole world I'm holding in my hand

One I could change with just one breath

And I don't really care where it'll end up

As long as it takes me somewhere else

Light the candles,

Burn some incense

Dance around the broken pot on the floor

I will not be coming back for more…

Taken out of context,

Your fights do not matter anymore

And if you can turn in your worlds

Or break up your strongholds

Once a window is shattered

I'll be spinning out of control

Light the candles

Burn my incense

Dance around the broken pot on the floor

I won't be coming back for more

If your peace is a call to arms

I'm calling every god available

To curse you into a hole

There's a blood stain I cannot wash off

One you left a long time ago

But I'd rather go naked that endure its reek,

Again…

Light the candles

Burn my incense

Dance around the pot broken on the floor

I won't be coming back for more

Light my candles

Burn my incense

Dance around the pot broken on the floor

I won't be coming back anymore…

here we go again

It’s all clear blue skies

But I see nothing

But clear blue skies

No clouds

No sun

No stars

Nothing

Want to paint it all red

But I can’t cut in

I can’t get

No blood

No love

No spark

Nothing

Oh God, where have I gone…?

encounters

i was going through my old poems/songs/whatever and i stumbled upon this one,
i remember writing in a restaurant in Yerevan (Armenia's capital), the paplavok café i think it was called, in august 2003, but as hard as i try, i cannot remember what the person i'm talking about looks like... it's very weird that i don't, since i remember everything else, the colours, the smells, the water fountain in the middle of the pool... even the jazzy music that was playing (which inspired me write another thingy as well)...
and i remember that it was a warm day, just a day or two before the heatwave struck...

i was planning on going back to yerevan this summer but that didn't work out...
i should try to go back still, and i'd visit that restaurant, if it's still there, for sure...

in the meantime, here's what i wrote, it's not my best work obviously, but it has a lot of feelings/memories, albeit rather short ones, attached to it...

if i could just remember that face again...

Face, smile, hand, back…:

Gliding across the water

In your pink inflatable boat

I’ll be picking other colors

To keep you spinning in my thoughts

Round and round here’s what I caught

Face, smile, hand, back…

You should see me trying

Not to jump straight ahead

Unbuttoning what’s hiding

The wonders inhabiting your chest

My hands I will not rest

Face, smile, hand, back…

And in all of its glory

This city will not prevent

My sanity from exploring

Every single path it has laid

I will cross barrages with images in my head

Face, smile, hand, back…

But a new image has stopped me dead

An innocent voice claiming my loss

Our incident is over

Another has just begun

In a second I will be gone

Face, smile, hand, back…

structure structure...

Sacrifice:

Resting on the oscillation of my quavering thoughts,

With one hand on the ramp, the other in the void,

I am pumping my blood through holed vessels;

Leaking closely, reeking freely,

Yet far from being done

Crossing over,

Almost…

Almost…

Splitting my head

Along swift borderlines;

Aiming feebly to float freely,

I’m flexing muscled up ideals.

Scanning the altars for other sacrifices,

I’ll let it be, I’ll let it bleed, I’ll let you drink for free…

the hell that is called admitting it...

My Mess:

She’ll be chirpy, she’ll be giddy

She’ll be taking it all lightly

And I’ll be blaming my expectations

Blaming her

For any lack of appreciation

I’ll be clingy, I’ll be needy

I’ll be going almost crazy

And she’ll be playing with attention

Every word

Stimulating her imagination

And I have to stay alert

Underperforming yet robust

And I must keep getting hurt

One wrong word and I go bust

She said go before you break

There are few things you can take

She said she will then denounce

Every doing out of bounce

Better hope I keep the progress

Slight like my pain,

Slight and wordless

Minor musings have taken a tumble

In a conundrum I cannot assemble

Better keep the impulses at bay

Bag some moments,

One for each day

If it all goes dark in her haze

I’ll pretend I was in a daze

Yet, she’ll be banging on my heart

Turning the sensation into an art

The art of losing, one step away

For the sake of keeping things at bay…

And I’ll be banging on my chest

Waiting for a sign,

A healthy breath

And I’ll be abandoning all rest

Until I can deal with her mess…

Until I can deal with my mess

My mess, my mess, my mess, my mess…

hate to say it...

Chill out:

Chill out chill out

It’s not as if you were being murdered

Chill out chill out

So you’re not the world’s favorite Virginal slut

But if you’re in desperate need of a haircut

Here are some tweezers I used on a female mutt

Chill out chill out

Your life has the concept of a sharp pervert

Chill out chill out

So they’re all freaks, which makes you their queen

Behind the sliding doors and what’s in between

You’ve made a point of keeping it lean

Chill out chill out

Put on your heels and stick it out…

Ain’t that what it’s all about?