To Be Somewhere..

Sometimes, the need to escape is greater than anything I feel...

I have my trained mind for that, years of forced introversion in bomb shelters...

So there...

To be somewhere…

 

To be where the dark red skies

Are only a mark of an ending restful day,

I’m clinging on to hope where, hope, there is none.

 

To weave thoughts as vigorous as eternal coniferous domains,

Hold my flame, hold my fire, hold within my calming desires;

I’m persevering ahead, a blaze at a time.

 

There’s only one way the current can go,

There’s the way the mountains cast shadows;

I’ll be none the wiser if I remain astray.

 

Down by the river bed,

The river bed is thirsty.

Floating right ahead,

My gasping compassion.

I’m not numb, I’m tremendously dazed…

 

To be where the earth is roaring,

Ready to spew out its bonfires of wisdom;

I’ll make sense of it; I’ll be gentle but I’ll resist,

 

Until I have no more reason to…

 

 

Rouge... again, again? let's make it dark... Mylène style...

I will not try to sugarcoat this... the past couple of months have been pretty dark, on more than one level...

I had to confront many misbehaving demons, most of them thrown at me, who kept lingering about...

so, one dark such night, I wrote this;

it's not a poem it's a song, in french, désolé...

reading it again tonight I realized how much it is influenced by Mylène Farmer's songs... so I remembered a small painting I made a couple of weeks into the confinement we went through in the spring (I don't think it will be long before they impose another one here...)

... as soon as i finished it I felt it the tree reminded me of dear Mylène, whose music I love but I never felt it influenced me much... I guess i was wrong...

red again yes,

and

dark, dark times...

Je Sais Que la Nuit :

 

Je sais que la nuit

Me ment

Même quand elle me lance

Des anecdotes insondables

 

Je sais que la nuit

Me ment

Et qu’elle en a assez

De mes soupirs

Et mes désirs

Si incontrôlables

 

Et que s’évanouissent

Les consolations générales

Je n’en veux pas

Et que s’épanouissent

Les passions abyssales

Je n’en ris pas

 

Je sais que tes yeux

Me mentent

Même quand ils me percent

De flèches enflammées

 

Je sais que tes lèvres

Me blessent

Même quand elles me sourient

Et me laissent nu

 

Je sais que ta voix

Me perturbe

Même quand elle me raconte

Ce que je veux entendre

 

Et je sais, je sais

 

Je sais que la nuit

S’en moque

Et qu’en une seconde

Tous mes soupirs

Et mes désirs

Subiront son désordre

 

Et que s’évanouissent

Les consolations générales

Je les déteste

Et que s’épanouissent

Les passions abyssales

Maudites pestes

Et que se tordent

Les envies banales

Je les abhorre

Et loin de cette horde

Au final, au final,

Laisse-moi tomber

 

Red, Again...

Every ending is a new beginning bla bla bla...
So, after two and a half years,
back to square one...?

Red, Again…

Red, red, red everywhere

Some shadows within have lost their obscurity

I keep seeing, when I close my eyes,

Strawberry pink, brown and red

I draw lines with echoes that ring deep

I paint pictures with the smells I miss

Acidic smells I barely got used to

And then, they were no more

How the hell did it feel right

To shut my senses

And chase that gloom

What kind of obsession

What kind of determination

What kind of obstinacy

Kept me dipping my hands in that fire

Ah, I was riding high on potential

heavily boosting that reality

But despite of all good intentions

The path remained, obtusely murky

I’ve got to find what I lost in there

I’ve got to find something similar

And shape it again

So... I will hold the clay

I will take the grey

I will carve my way, to new directions…