Sunday, December 10, 2017


It's been a while... A while since I have been able to write anything that is not too messy...
It's been a year...

Here's what it's like in my head since...
Most of the time...

Excuse the messiness... I just had to get it out a bit...

(With a special thought for those who, like me, suffer from trichotillomania ...)

Pluck! :


It strikes suddenly
A pounding emptiness
Infusing my chest
With melancholy

One by one, all around me
Nostalgic memories
Conceal the tainted remains
Of an unfulfilled quest

In this unpleasant engagement
I try not to surrender
But I lose my breath, then…


I’m battered by drifting thoughts
Longing for satiations
That will remain elusive
Along these same paths

Nonetheless, I tackle regrets
Gratified by carnal impulses
That remain counter intuitive, and…


I am whisked off by the wind
Swirling around them
With no place to rest…



Is there anything to hang on?
a fence, a branch, a leaf…


A conviction, maybe…


Not yet…


Wednesday, August 31, 2016


It has been a long time, a very long time, since i wrote anything...
This is far from being good... It is too direct, too weak... But weak is the key word here...
And i had to start again...

I'm sure i'll come back to this one and edit and correct and change it later, but for now it wants to be free...

I don't owe you love
I don't owe you tenderness
I don't owe you different statements
To help you navigate
Your murky waters
This blood, this blood
Dry and crackled it may be
This blood has stained you
But you can still be free

Sometimes i wonder
Why have your smells lost their splendour
Sometimes i shudder
At the memories thoughts of you bring
I end up smirking
At their blatant futility
Then at the hint of a severance
I taste blood and I don't like it...

Yes your melodies have faded
Now all I hear are cacophonies
But the pounding in my chest 
Has become clearer...
Yes I am dancing to a new beat

Away from blame, shame and resentment
I owe you a different dance
And soft fragrances
I owe them to you
And you owe them to me... 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Je danse

Moving, dancing, swaying... I have no doubt how important physical movement is to my mental well being... So i'll dance regardless...
This one is in french, it seems i am going through a french period
I'll try to break out of it next time i come here...

Je Danse:

Je danse dans des nébuleuses
Qui prétendent être belles
Mais qui sont aussi hideuses
Que mes envies primaires

Je danse sur des nappes douces
Mais dès que soupire un doute
Mes tourbillons m'harcèlent 
Et m'exaspèrent

Je danse et ma colère
Jadis dissipée
Est trahie par les haillons
Que deviennent mes peaux
inlassables, inlassables...
Elles exposent mes veines...

Je danse et je trouve surtout
Que les courants sont moqueurs
Et que mes idées abyssales
Sont des épiphanies vaines

Je danse pour faire résonner
Une vie qui se perd
Dans des lits sinueux
Qui brûlent souvent sans lumières

Et puis je tourne, je tourne,
Je tourne en rond
Et mon centre se fixe
Et mes mains deviennent raides

Mais je danse, je danse 
Je danse quand même...


Tuesday, July 7, 2015


I read an article today that left me a bit disturbed... Something about knowing when to quit... What disturbed was the fact that I know exactly what the author is talking about, I would have advised anyone to follow suit, yet I fail to do so myself...
Laziness? Fear? All kinds of fear honestly... Patience? For... Hope? 


Still in the water
Waiting for the wind;

Quiet breathing
Embalming what remains
Of harmful thoughts
Stay at bay...
Stay at bay!

Wrinkles on the surface;
The illusion of a movement...

A breeze from afar? No,
A beat from within...

Show me my face
As distorted as it should be.

Don't soften my pain
Don't cradle my worries
Don't let me look away...

The thrashing continues,
It shouldn't be contained.
The mind is well-worn
And the signs are there...


Still in the water
Waiting for the wind;
To warm, to chill... 
Go out? go in...?

Still in the water;

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Another perspective

I was asked to write something from the perspective of a character i am playing, years after his story had happened...
Although i thought i wouldn't connect with him at all, the following took two minutes to write... So i guess i was wrong...

À Marillon:

Je t'ai caressé la peau,
Ta peau douce,
Et c'est comme si c'était juste le jour d'avant
Que je l'avais fait...
Ta douceur, ton parfum
À jamais impregnés dans les rides de ma peau à moi;
À moi...
Tu as refusé.
Mais pas de regrets,
Pas de regrets
Même pas de souhaits.
Mes souvenirs je les refais parfois
Surtout quand je suis seul
Surtout le matin...
Mais pas de regrets
Pas de regrets
Même pas de souhaits
Mais de la tendresse,
Au goût sucré;
Comme ton parfum...

Friday, December 26, 2014

let's keep playing...

So here is part two of the challenge (if you want to know which, go two posts back, part one here), these were a bit more difficult and challenging, but I did them all during one particular 'stormy' night... hence the dark mood probably...

Feel free to send me more challenges (either here or via email, I'll answer back I promise :) )

Challenge 4:
Numbers: 40,4,10
Words: Red, Skin, Run

Continuously running from my thoughts
Like a believer fleeing the devil
Yet my skepticism has voids to fill

‘You unappreciative selfish bastard!’

What a tremendously helpful insight,
My brain definitely needs a stoplight:

Red, alike my skin… I am exhausted…

Challenge 5:
Numbers: 62, 8, 12

Words: provoke, almond, sunshine 

I saw you smile, and a sweet textured sensation
Brushed tentatively against my bitter heart

I saw you smile, and your honeyed almond shaped eyes
Fashioned a line that cut right through my hardened heart

I saw you smile, and springtime came knocking gently
With sunshine peeking and warming my dormant heart

Your smile has provoked me… it is moving, my heart…

Challenge 6:  
Numbers: 99, 3, 9
Words: story, street, drum

All this cryptic drumming, I wonder
How many layers are covering
Its elusive origin, over
And over and over the banging…
Dreadful racket bouncing from the street

All these twists to two simple stories
In turns cautious, in turns amorphous
These words, these torrents of veiled worries
We should cultivate a swift release
Are these hesitant tears? I wonder…

What if we bang our drum together?
Make the frivolous sounds evident
A step here, and another step there,
Will our dance be any different?
Let’s make vague assumptions turn over
And over and away they’ll wither…

Monday, December 22, 2014

let's play again...

I admit I love challenges,

and a few people responded to my last post and challenged me via facebook, twitter, in the comments here and in private
six challenges in total that I will divide to two posts (second one coming in a few days)
they were not easy and I enjoyed them tremendously (there's even a small one in french); I was even surprised I was able to keep the correct word count (mostly)

N.B.: I know they should be edited and corrected properly, but I like them the way they are, so I'll leave them untouched for now, though one was edited later on and was used in the storytelling night we had a few days back, hence the pic I used here ;) )

Challenge 1:
Numbers: 60, 3, 5
Words: Couch, Parents, Away

I've made up my mind
I'm moving away
I'm too young to care
And too smart to stay

        This land's now barren
        A joyless debris
        I feel I'm battered
        My life quite dreary

I will certainly
Miss my parents, yet
I will not feel free
Until I have surfed
Some... many couches
In joyful cities...

Challenge 2:
Numbers: 60, 4, 12
words: reason - storm  - crime


Dead crimson flowers on a bloody river bed
One crime of passion unfolding its mystery

As the storm scatters your reason, keep whispering
'It's only fitting, it is fated, i'm willing...'

And let the rain bathe your purpose once more, before
You turn to your divine shape, you murderous boar

Artemis is long gone, Adonis' name lives on...

Challenge 3:
numbers: 26, 1, 7
words: mouchoir, chauffage, escarpin

Tant de mouchoirs méprisés,
De désirs abandonnés,
Une image brutale:
Ton escarpin est au coin…
Sous ma couette j’enrage,
Mon souffle est mon seul chauffage…